The awakening

There was an open discussion held in the ring the other day. Kru invited anyone who was inside the gym to join us because there is something he wanted to get off his chest. I can't say word for word what was said but it seemed to be a discussion communicating the need for change. Topics like desire, mental, physical and spiritual strength was discussed. Energy, aura, allure. All of these conceptual things that need to be felt and understood by the mind. Purpose, fulfillment.

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Lately I've been thinking about purpose and fulfilment a lot because I'm in a place in my life where I am free to choose a new path or fight for the same things I've always wanted. Desire is a tricky thing, it can change but still have the same obstacles. Since the beginning of time humans have been seeking the pleasure of worldly materialism. Desire is at the root of one's consciousness. It determines our path in life. What we want to work towards. What do you think about each day? What do you day dream about? What exactly do you want to gain and what is the feeling associated with each possession? What we eat, what we wear, what we drive. All of these things behavioural patterns can be attested to our greed. Is doing better for myself mean the same things it does for others? I'm starting to feel like I don't want the life that merits value to monetary acquisitions. The type of life that I was born and raised into in a city like Toronto. The influences of the western world can shape your mind in ways that some cannot undo. I suppose those who aren't mindful of what they truly want in life are victim to the standard society sets, rather than the one they set for themselves. Without getting too deep into the topic of the power of advertisement; it is such things that has an incredible impact on our definition of "desire".


The family I was raised in definitely influenced my opinion on money, love, desire & fulfilment; as anyone's family would, simply by being nurtured. My father and his willingness to communicate his thoughts and wishes throughout his life has helped me sculpt my unique meaning of life. Generally those who have lived life far longer than you have are full of wisdom to interpret. There is a famous quote that is synonymous with the growth of perception throughout the years. "Most people spend their health to gain their wealth, then spend their wealth to regain their health". Health isn't necessarily synonymous with youth however, my interpretation differs slightly. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious but one also has to define the parameters in which they find happiness in life early on otherwise a life can be spent of labour. If all tangible things were removed, is there a meaningful life that remains?


I am grateful that my father and his family have always been so willing to share their philosophy on life with me. They are all very articulate and eager to share their stories of our family history. I am like a sponge, I just soak it all up. I'm curious about everyone's view on life because it helps me shape my own. It helps me understand more about myself. Knowledge is indeed power when execution follows.


This September I am in Trinidad. I have never seen a greater opportunity to research my family's history. For those who aren't familiar with Trinidadian history I can give you a little break down. The Indo-Trinidadian (meaning those who have indian ancestry) generally own the majority of the land in Trinidad because of historical things like Indentured Labourer contracts. Both my parents have land within their name and their family's name. The history of my father's side of the family can be traced back as far as my great great grandfather because the many hectares and business within the family. This time is is my "Dharma" or duty to find out as much as I can. Not all indians have the same story. Because of all the evidence that I have about my family's history I have an inkling that my great great grandfather did not acquire his hectares of land by Indentured Slavery. It is my goal to be able to acquire my great great grandfather's signature and also my great grandfather's signature as it is quite possible given all of the land transactions that has been made since it came into my family's ownership in 1896. I would like concrete evidence of where in India my ancestors came from. Both my great grandfather and my great great grandfather were born in India, so this is another piece of the puzzle that is quite the possibility. There are a lot of elderly folk in Grants Trace Trinidad that know many stories of my fore father's because of their business' impact on the community.


I have a lot of ground to cover within two weeks. There are things I would like to do personally and also for the spiritual benefit. These past few months I have been focusing a lot more on physical and mental development. I cannot neglect the spirit. It is the spirit that holds the true desires of the heart, essential for growth and future fulfilment